To Breastfeed or Not?

Of course, 99.9% of any one will say, YES! Breastfeed!

With my first baby Megan, I thought “Of course I’ll breastfeed.” I didn’t realize it was really hard to breastfeed.

1. The baby doesn’t know what to do.
2. The latching on is the most crucial step. You don’t get it right, it’ll affect milk supply and how painful it is.
3. The first 2 weeks are awful.
4. Not only is the mom sleep deprived already, breastfeeding is time consuming.
5. You are leaking, your breasts are engorged, and sore nipples.

It took me 10 days. I had to stop. I did not look forward to each feeding and I knew that was bad when I was delaying the nursing. I was still in pain from my labor. I had a perineal tear that had its stitches torn within an hour of my labor. So I was restitched up a 2nd time.

The perineal tear made my recovery longer than most. It took me 10 weeks instead of the usual couple of weeks. From the pain to low milk supply, I was frustrated, in pain, and sad/depressed.

Switching to formula really helped my family.

With Emma, I decided to try breastfeeding again. I felt good! Emma was latching on (not perfectly but adequately) enough to get enough dirty and wet diapers. I was supplementing with formula also. I got through 5 weeks of pain. It was worth it.

But my decision to change to formula was a sad one. I loved the closeness I felt when breastfeeding. As much as I wanted to continue breastfeeding, it was time to go back to work. I had missed a lot of work time because I was put on complete bed rest since of my 31st week of pregnancy.

My doctor recommended me to continue to breastfeed in the morning and at night but I also work from home too. To make ends meet, my time breastfeeding had to stop. Everytime I look at Emma, I feel melancholy that I couldn’t do more for her.

I’m glad I breastfed both my kids as much as I could. Circumstances now compared to in the past are different. We’re working women and working moms.